Steve Jobs, that is. I heard he was back to work this week. Is he available?
I am here to discuss my spinning rainbow of death and the schizophrenic light that has taken residence in my charging cable. Should I make an appointment? Or could I just see him now?
No, I will not make an appointment at the 'Genius Bar'. First of all, I am fairly certain that Steve will not be there. Also, I abhor referencing anyone that 'fixes' my ongoing battle with this malignant hunk of metal by giving me a third new power adapter, as a 'genius'.
Oh, he's not available right now? Are you sure? Did you tell him it's Heather? He will remember me, I am certain. He has turned over at least two of my emails to the local authorities. The first of which was simply annotating my displeasure with the continued presence of the spinning rainbow of death and the little square man with x's for eyes (I call him Lucifer). I don't understand why he found it threatening. I promise I was admonishing Lucifer, not Steve.
Ok, well if you're sure he can't see me now, when would be a good time for me to return? Why do you need to know my height and weight? No, I will not pose for a picture!
Just tell him I will be back on Wednesday around three. No, I don't know my license plate number! Why do you ask such things????
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